It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything. My mom died after an 8 month fight with Glioblastoma. And man did she fight. She never complained. Never asked “Why me?” She had a divine strength most of us only dream of.
And what now? Moments of closing my eyes and picturing her. Her hair. Her eyes. The way she would tilt her head to the left and smile at me like I was the best thing in her life. The warmth that caresses my face when I think of her.
The memories are there, yes. But honestly I’m tired of people telling me to hold on to the memories. All I can think of is how am I supposed to go another 40, 50 years of my life without her. This time last year I was with her, hugging her. Now everything has changed.
Then just as quickly as the tears came, they dry and I go back to whatever task I was doing. Grief is funny like that. One minute I’m devastated, sinking into the abyss, the next back to life as usual.
In the words of my mama, “This too shall pass.” And that’s the goal. Get through the messiness. Feel the emotions and then let them pass. Rest. Then take a step forward. I may not know what is ahead of me, but I have faith I will get where I’m supposed to be.
Unbound Light 