For years my furniture has been arranged in the exact same way: sofa sectional along the main wall, credenza directly across from the sofa, ottoman in between, and TV on a small stand on the third wall. I sat for years in the same exact spot on the sofa: the first cushion I would come to, directly across from the TV. My back would always be to the rest of the house, my vision always facing a small section of the living room.
2022 brought many things to me…building a life with my boyfriend, my mother’s illness, growth, and a new living room arrangement. Nothing drastic…there’s not enough room for a drastic change in there…but the simple act of moving my TV to the credenza, removing the small stand, and changing my normal seating location to the chaise lounge on the opposite side of where I normally sat. Big deal right? It was. I can’t count the number of hours I spent anxious because of that small change.
Changing my position literally changed my daily perspective. Instead of only looking in one small area of the living room, I now saw the kitchen, the dining room, the mess, the CLUTTER, every strand of dog fur… my poor boyfriend has now had to live through at least one small “tantrum”a week over the clutter in the house. Just because now that I can see it, the actual clutter causes me anxiety.
The arrangement before was simple. Walk in, sit down, focus on the tidy spot in front of me, get up, move easily to another area of the house. Now I’m stepping over things, dodging the ottoman, tripping over the rug, basically running an obstacle course anytime I stand up or sit down. I’m now forced to confront the hot mess that is my house 90% of the time. I realize now what I once considered cramped but cozy is now just not working for me anymore.
I could have gone back to the old way. Same old safe spot on the couch, TV back in the usual place, eyes focused on the tidy spot in front of me – content and happy. But I didn’t do that. Instead, I’m facing the truth of the situation. I’m facing the hot mess that is in my house. Facing away from it won’t change the fact that it’s there, it just means I’m avoiding it.
Nothing will ever be truly fixed and healed until we stop avoiding the hot messes of our lives. We must be willing to open our eyes to the truth. We must be willing to make a change…even just simply changing where we sit in our living rooms…to see what’s really going on in our lives and the world around us. Being open-minded, being willing to acknowledge and face your own hot mess is where the work begins! Nothing will magically just disappear, WE must do the work!
Unbound Light 