Have you ever felt like you were getting swept up into something much bigger than you? Like being a player in a divinely orchestrated script?
Meeting someone you normally would have never crossed paths with, but now is such a huge part of your life? Taking a different route home on a whim to find out later you avoided getting caught up in an accident? These little seemingly small, innocent moments that end up having a huge domino effect in your life. You know, where people painstakingly arrange tiles of dominoes vertically in designs so they can make them tumble into a pattern? One tile knocking the other down until the entire row falls into a bigger picture.
This happened to me recently: an innocent act of kindness leading to a whirlwind of events out of my control.
What was the catalyst of all this drama? A spiritual domino effect.
Driving to my parents every other week allows me to listen to many audiobooks and podcasts. One podcast lead me to a book that I’d bought many years ago but never took the time to read: Eat, Pray, Love. I decided to purchase the audiobook and listen during the commute. During one part of the book, the author goes to visit a Balinese medicine man who asks her what gift she would like to receive from the universe. I paused to think, what one gift would I ask to be given? My answer was: to have mastery over my emotions.
My emotions tend to rule my life and my decision making. Since I tend to avoid things that make me uncomfortable, I’ve missed out on many experiences and relationships. Normally I’m the kind of person who has a big emotional reaction to unpleasant things in my life…especially if I feel out of control and feeling forced to do something I don’t want to do. I can admit this about myself – I react instead of being rational, and I overreact to top it all off.
The Bible says “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” So, I prayed, “Dear God, will you please help me learn how to master my emotions so they don’t control my life?”
Be careful what you ask for…5 minutes later someone driving their car too quickly decided to honk their horn at me because I wasn’t moving fast enough for them. I became enraged! I was fuming and giving them a piece of my mind when suddenly a truck turns in front of me causing me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them. The difference between the two incidents was I wasn’t angry at them even though they put me in physical danger.
These emotional responses confused me. Why did I feel rage at one and not the other? So I went through my problem solving tree mentioned in a previous post. I asked all the questions until the only answer left was – I resent people trying to force me to do something I don’t want to do, but I can easily forgive ignorance.
Now, a few days later I find myself caught up in a bigger drama. I got sucked into something I wanted no part in, but I was given little choice. Remembering what I had asked God for, I decided to try a new stance. I was going to be an observer of the events and listen to the facts while keeping my emotions in check. All of these dominoes painstakingly put in place by the divine were falling one by one, and I was just going to watch them fall with no emotional attachment.
I hated being in the situation, but I reveled in the feeling of quiet peace that came over me. Whenever anxiety or anger came over me, I reminded myself that this emotion was temporary. This situation was temporary. I’m merely a domino put in place for someone else’s lesson. I don’t have to feel all of this negativity and pain for something that would leave as quickly as it came.
How many times do we do this to ourselves? We let ourselves get swept away by the yucky feelings that make us feel bad then do everything in our power to make them stop. The answer is, in fact, just on the other side of those yucky emotions.
How to find the answer? Breathe. Remind yourself these feelings are temporary; the situation is temporary. Look for the lesson and how you can grow. Go through the emotional problem solving tree. Ask for divine help to get through the situation and for clarity as to why it is here. Then just listen and watch for it to unfold.
Unbound Light 